A Note on Self-Righteousness- or, Haters Gon' Hate

Bonjour mes amis.

Oui, je sais, je sais it has been a long time. I hope you can all forgive me. The sojourn of the last few months has been long, painful but fruitful in the end. And I’m here to talk a bit about it.

I’m going to start by committing the ultimate taboo. I’m going to tell you all openly that… I’ll be working on Bay Street next summer. I know we’re not supposed to tell people, and I appreciate the fact that people are quiet about it out of respect for those who were victims to the horrible, arduous process known as in-firms, but this tale won’t make much sense if I don’t tell you outright. I’ve been doing the dance for the last week- feeling other people out, trying to tiptoe around the issue of discovering where people ended up, and frankly, I’m sitting the waltz out for the next several rounds. It’s bizarre to not discuss something so momentous. We’re all big kids. I think we can handle it. I understand why we don’t, but, then, discretion has never really been one of my strongest attributes. So here I am.

It was the week before the hellish three day in-firm process that I found myself at a meeting held by the Equality Committee at school. I approached the meeting with some trepidation, I suppose because I haven’t been much of the activist since coming to law school, but I actually enjoyed the meeting very much for the open and frank discussion about issues of equality in the school. They ranged from the banal to the more serious, and opened my eyes to a number of problems that require addressing. I felt engaged and involved sitting there and discussing matters with this group of intelligent and social-minded colleagues.

That was until a comment was made regarding advertisement of the school’s diversity. The speaker felt they had been duped into coming to Osgoode under the pretence that many of the students were social justice-oriented and that many of them were members of diverse minorities. ‘Tis true that a flip round our advertisements on the website and adorning the hallway show a range of students of all types, but the reality is that many law students are still typically white and heterosexual. Nevertheless, my sympathy for this student was lost at their next comment.

“So I come here, and everyone wants to work on Bay Street, so everyone is basically the fucking devil”

I pause. I think, I want to work on Bay Street. Does that make me the fucking devil? I am reminded of a time a potential date told me he regarded those wanting to work in that downtown glass and steel district as “soulless corporate shills.” Needless to say, I never met the gentleman in question. I have faced this problem since beginning law school- am I some kind of sell-out? Have I betrayed myself somehow by desiring that corner office in First Canadian Place? I am the kind of person who is apt to defer to the judgment of others- particularly those who I admire- and I do admire people who wish to devote themselves to championing the causes of the underprivileged. It is indeed something I have grappled with, and I wouldn’t be having this moment now if I hadn’t heard similar comments made dozens of times before. But my momentary crisis subsides. My confusion abates. And then I realize the truth.

The comment made is stupid. It’s moronic. And it’s completely ignorant.

I mean, since when do those who make these statements have an embargo on truth? I am here, at this meeting, aren’t I? If I wasn’t interested in making the school a better place for all students, I wouldn’t take two hours of my time to sit and discuss these issues. I felt like I’d been slapped in the face. What about wishing to work on Bay Street makes me “the fucking devil”?

It doesn’t. I’m not the devil. I don’t gobble up babies and take tea with Michelle Bachmann and Jerry Sandusky. I’m a regular person with moderate politics and a desire to do my work in peace, while in my spare time, taking part in some of the causes that are important to me. Undoubtedly the long hours I will be putting in will grant me some significant remuneration, and the great thing about having this money is that you have the freedom to support those causes with donations. Signing petitions and marching in rallies is one way of fighting the good fights- but so is giving money, and what many charities and causes need is money. Bay Street lawyers regularly sit on charitable boards, hold benefits and give back to the community in many ways. I have always wanted to have the financial security to be able to do this, and now it seems I may be able to.

The monolithic concept of Bay Street vs. Social Justice permeates much of the law school dialogue. But are we not lawyers, being trained not to look at things as black and white, but constant shades of grey? The idea that one is good and the other is the devil is juvenile, and yet these are the absolutes many of us deal in regularly in order to make ourselves feel better about the career path we’ve chosen. I am Bay Street bound, but I am certain that many of my similarly-situated colleagues believe that they are the good guys and the social justice types are flawed in politics and beliefs. This is all despite the fact that “Bay Street” and “social justice” don’t really mean anything anyway. Within these larger groups, lawyers are doing a wide variety of work. Some might want to be in-house counsel for Wal-Mart, but others might look at working in tax, litigation, entertainment or any number of fields. I like the idea of being a real estate lawyer. Does brokering a deal on a commercial space in an office building secure me a spot in Hell? And is it not naïve to think that one has more deserving clients than the other? I hate to break it to you all, but we’re lawyers. Our job is to assist someone with a problem. That often means wading through the muck and mire of someone else’s issues. It may mean having to defend a corporate client who may be guilty of abusing their employees. It may also mean we must defend a small-time criminal guilty of killing a bystander in a gangland shootout gone wrong. Wealth does not make one a more or less deserving client. Neither does poverty.

I have my own reasons for choosing to pursue a legal career at a full-service business firm. They include salary concerns and potential benefits, but they also include practice areas that I’m interested in and the people at these firms. I happen to think I’ve chosen a firm which is celebrated for the diversity of their staff. Lawyers of all ethnicities, backgrounds, orientations and political stripes are brought into the fold- and no one encourages them to become soulless corporate drones. I mean please- I have more personality than that, surely. Will that suddenly disappear? I don’t think so.

I am also of the mind that if one wants to change something, one needs to get into the system. Protests from the outside are all well and good, but if you want to make a difference, you need to be on the inside. Some will say that firms do not hire LGBT lawyers or they treat them poorly. Well, here I am. At my firm, I’ve disproved the first. I dare them to treat me badly. I would never let myself be demeaned in that way. I haven’t yet, and I have no intention of letting it happen in the future.

Frankly, I’m quite sick of having to defend myself and my career choices. I have done it more times than I can count. The holier-than-thou attitude of some needs to be toned down. I have the greatest respect for those who choose to work in many other areas- be it for the government, in a legal aid clinic or simply hanging their own shingle somewhere. We should go where we feel our talents are best suited, and leave the judgment aside. So to you, dear reader, who despairs about what people think of your career choice, I say fuck ‘em. Fuck them because you’re smarter than that. You know yourself. You know you’re a good person. You haven’t let the nay-sayers get you down yet. Don’t start now. Pursue your goal, whatever it may be. You will always have my full respect and support.